Put her first — because nobody else will.

Fathers, the world would have you put everything else and the kids first, before your partners, and women buy into the madness wholeheartedly.

In this post I’ll explain why it's madness, and encourage men to put her first, instead.

There’s a parenting theory called ‘attachment’, which teaches that children need a strong emotional bond with their parents — it’s very true.

Because of its importance, all the parenting experts will teach mum to make her children the priority.

Which she'll do naturally anyway — but if the kids come first it means she, and you, come last.

It means that mums can be busy looking after kid number two, building strong attachments like good mothers do — but feel completely alone.

If mum is feeling alone — then dad probably is too.

It turns out that it’s not just kids that need a good healthy attachment — adults need it to.

The science shows that adults need other adults we can have a secure attachment to, without that, we can feel forgotten, lonely and lost.

The opposite of attachment is separation — which is what happens when parents no longer make each other the priority. Then, you’re forced to build attachment with your kids from a distance, and that’s a challenge for another article.

A big part of making kids feel secure is providing a stable, consistent and reliable home environment — and a big part of that is knowing mum and dad love each other.

Men, as the busyness of parenting really kicks in, one of your key jobs, in addition to loving your children more than you ever thought possible, is to build and maintain a strong attachment with your partner.

You do that — by keeping your relationship as the priority, even when you’re both too busy.

The great irony, is that you put your kids first — by putting her first. Happy wife — happy life, and every child wants a happy mum and dad.

Men need to feel first too — so this is something you need to thrash out together.

Lead The Way
1. Ask her to read this email

2. Read these talking points together — she’ll love that you’re trying to be a great dad, It’ll earn you some major brownie points.

Talk about how you can put each other first — because nobody else will.

See you next week.